As it is Wednesday, I am back at my series on dealing with non-supportive spouses. If this is your first visit, please consider starting from the beginning of the series.
“Why don’t I get to have any fun?” – This may be the attitude your spouse is taking towards your entrepreneurial dreams. If you are smart, you have chosen a business around something that you very much like to do. For this reason, your spouse may be jealousy of the enjoyment you are getting out of your work. This can particularly be an issue if your spouse is sacrificing in a corporate job that they hate in order for you to reach your goals.
Often times, our spouses don’t see what we actually do on a day to day basis to grow our businesses. It reminds me of the current “what I really do” meme going around about how different people view different jobs.Click the picture for more examples.
Unfortunately, we tend to “protect” them from much of the “stuff” either out of a need to hide what hasn’t yet happened, a lack of drive that keeps us moving in the right direction or a sense of not wanting to bother them. Ultimately, this can backfire with them thinking you get to “play” all day and never have to do the hard work.
If you are a work-at-home entrepreneur, you can probably easily relate to the spouse that comes home after a long day wondering why the house is messy and dinner isn’t ready. After all, what could you possibly have had to do all day?
Action Step: First and foremost, sit down with your spouse to talk about your life together. Create a life plan. Where do you both want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 25 years? What are their dreams? How can you incorporate their dreams into your life plan? How does your dream work in with helping them to reach their dream? Maybe their dream is to travel and your business will allow that to happen. Help them to see that and have a clear time frame as to when that will begin to happen. Giving them some vision in the overall plan will garner a great deal of support for what you are doing.
Next, help them to understand what it is that goes into your business each and every day. Share with them not just the successes but also some of the more mundane tasks. Give them access to your calendar and make sure you are doing a great job of time blocking so they can clearly see how your time is divided. Educate them through the entire process, at least to the extent that they want to learn.
In summary, the very best thing you can do to garner support from a non-supportive spouse is to keep open the lines of communication. The more you talk to each other, the more likely you can help to alleviate any fear or tension before it starts.
When to Seek a Life Coach
Sometimes we need extra help. Consider contacting us to set up a session in the following situations.
- Often, we find it difficult to talk to those closest to us. If you find this to be the case, consider a couples coaching session where an objective person can help to create better understanding for both individuals.
I’d love to hear about your challenges and/or solutions in managing your own non-supportive relationships in the comments below.