Goal setting is something that is in the top 5 things that life and business coaches promote. There are many great goal setting systems available but that is for another post. Many programs refer to BHAGS or Big Hairy Audacious Goals, the kind of goals that “make you want to throw up” when you think about them. These goals are just past the realm of what you would ever consider possible.
The YOU Coaching system doesn’t put as much emphasis on these long term, incredible goals because they do little good for a great deal of people until those people can change their current habits and beliefs around what they think is possible. In addition, many people just aren’t motivated by goals.
In fact, sometimes goals can be more detrimental than beneficial. If YOU are the type of person that repeatedly sets goals and never quite achieves any of them, it may be because you aren’t setting them in the right way; but, more likely, you just don’t have the internal belief that you can do it anyway. Therefore, not reaching your goals just proves you right, over and over again. This, of course, ends up doing you more harm by causing self doubt and lowering self esteem.
Then there’s the YOUniverse. The YOUniverse is our mirror. It is a reflection of ourselves. If we can’t keep our promises and reach the goals we set for ourselves, the YOUniverse does the same for the goals we ask of it.
For example, if YOU repeatedly set and break a goal to work out x number of times a week and then go to the YOUniverse asking it to provide YOU with that $40k car YOU’ve had your eye on for a while, the YOUniverse will reflect back that YOU don’t deliver on YOUr promises. No car for YOU. At least not that car.
ACTION STEP
Start by setting goals YOU KNOW YOU can achieve. Make them incredibly easy to obtain. “I will work out today.” or “I will get up 30 minutes early today”. Once YOU have achieved that one tiny goal, set the next one just a little bigger. “I will work out two times this week.”
Each time YOU set a goal and achieve it, you are building confidence in yourself. YOU are building trust and integrity. When you have integrity and trust with yourself, you grow your self confidence and reflect that to the YOUniverse. The YOUniverse, in turn, trusts that you can handle that which you ask of it.
What one step will you take this week to increase your integrity and self-confidence through tiny goals? Please post your responses in the comments section.
A bunch of little things add up to the big thing. Great article!
Completely agree. I worked for a company that worked with BHAGs for a while – major disincentive, I think. What is the point of completely unachievable goals?
Nicole,
Interesting take! When we first starting working together, you being a Coach was a BHAG!!! And then through conversation and realization, it became the NEXT goal.
Have you forgotten already??
Hi David!
I always value your input! Thanks for stopping by.
I have to say though, that I would never have defined coaching as a BHAG. I never felt it was unattainable or even something WAY out there. It was something I definitely wanted to and knew I could do, I just didn’t know if the timing was right.
I was not MOTIVATED by having coaching as a goal. I was motivated by finding what made sense to me and felt right. I think we often set goals that are out of congruence with our purpose and passion which leads to the rate of failure we often see. I had set MANY goals in my life, long term goals, bhags; that never came about. These things led to a tremendous amount of self doubt and lack of confidence.
I have also seen this in a few of my clients. They are discouraged with goal setting and wonder why it isn’t working. I don’t believe it is an all or nothing. Goal setting, when done carefully, can be very valuable for some people. The gift of coaching is that we can focus on an individual person’s needs rather than trying to fit everyone into a one-size-fits all program.
Nicole,
Great thought provoking content. Although you don’t mention it directly, this technique helps take “morality” out of “integrity.” We often mix the two together by saying that if you don’t have integrity then you are a bad person. If you have ever hit the snooze button on an alarm clock, you’re out of integrity, even if there’s a “good reason” that you didn’t do it. This doesn’t make you a bad person.
So, practicing making small commitments to yourself and following through to bigger commitments is one of the best ways to build up integrity. The momentum that this type of integrity creates is Enormous!
On a secondary note, I don’t think BHAGs are all together BS. In the book “Strengths Finder 2.0″ one of the strengths is a “futurist” which is, in my interpretations a person who is really good at casting a vision of a BHAG, and then pursuing it. It may not be for everyone, or even most, but I think it would be a mistake to toss it out completely.
FIRED UP!
Thanks Kevin,
As I shared in my response to David, I’m not entirely opposed to goals. I just feel they may be over used and can do more harm than good when not handled properly and with the right people.
But hey, the headline got a few extra people to take the time to read the post!
[...] have a good friend, Nicole Bandes, who wrote in her blog recently, “BHAG’s are BS.” (BHAG = Big Hairy Audacious Goals). In some respects I agree with her. Like the financial [...]
I totally agree that goals are misused and misunderstood, thus leading to needless frustration. Nothing sucks the confidence out of your bones as fast as a misguided goal. I’m so glad we life coaches are on a mission to assist in passion-inspired goals that lead to confidence, integrity and fulfillment. Thanks for this inspiring post!
Judy recently posted..The 4 Powers of Life, Part 2
Thanks Judy! The challenge with so much available in the way of personal development is that people end up lost in an ocean of information. I consider our profession to be the lighthouse guiding the way.