Success Paradox – Will Your Current Success Inhibit Future Success?

There’s an interesting thing about success. I call it the Success Paradox. The Success Paradox is the concept that what we most desire from success is the very reason we don’t work hard to achieve more of it. What is this factor? Comfort.

In all of my seminars and workshops and through the feedback of my coaching clients, I know that the number one reason people wish to achieve success is because of the comfort it will provide them. They may not define it that way. In fact, it’s usually called financial freedom, security, independence, etc… But the one thing all of these phrases have in common is that the individual(s) want to be comfortable and worry free.

And there lies the paradox.

You see, it isn’t possible to achieve a high level of success without expanding your comfort zone.

Success is created through trial and error, failures endured, pressure mounted. Success (that lasts) rarely happens out of luck or pure fortune but almost always from hard work, perseverance and the right attitude.  For this reason, it’s rarely found within the comfort zone.

Breaking the Success Paradox

If you really wish to reach a higher level of success, here’s an activity that may help you to break the paradox.

Take 15 or 20 minutes to perform this activity. Take out a sheet of paper and draw a line from top to bottom down the middle. On the left, write down all of the things you enjoy about your life right now.  On the right, write down all of the things you’d like to improve about your life now. Now turn the paper over. On the left, write down all of the things you believe will make your life more comfortable that you don’t currently have now. On the right, write down what you are willing to give up to make those improvements in your life and gain those things.

If you find you are not willing to give up much, or don’t list many things you’d like to change, then you may have already reached your ideal level of success. On the other hand, if you have a large list of wants and not many things you are willing to give up, you may continue to struggle because your wants aren’t a strong enough motivator to change.  However, if you have a good list of wants and a STRONG list of sacrifices, then you are well on your way to breaking the Success Paradox.

If you would like to work on breaking your success paradox, please check into our life coaching packages.

Did you try this exercise? What were your results?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments, or drop me a note.

 

23 Gratitude Quotes to Motivate and Inspire

Gratitude, it probably comes as no surprise, changed my life. I find it to be such an important point in our journey to reaching our true potential that it is one thing I require of all my coaching clients.

Since we are in the midst of this year’s Gratitude Project, I thought I’d share a few of my favorite gratitude quotes and thoughts.

Read the rest of this entry »

Fab Friday Success Story – Bridget Brady

I met today’s Fab Friday Success guest at a personal development seminar a couple of years ago. She continues to impress me over and over. Please give a huge applause for today’s Success!

Bridget Brady ~ The Internet Goddess

Today, I live in the beautiful Malibu Hills. I make a great living from home, in my PJs, no make-up, hair in a pony tail. I’m currently recording an album, and I take time most every day to do the things I love, and spend time with the people I love. It was not always this way.

My entire life I wanted to be a singer and actor. When I was 17 years old, I packed my bags and moved to New York City to go to school and pursue my dream. By the age of 19, I found myself completely broke, nearly starving, and desperate. I knew there had to be a better way to live, so I abandoned my starving artist mentality, went to bit more school, and became a software developer on Wall Street. I was a Wall Street girl by day, and a New York theatre girl by night. By some standards, “living the dream”. I had tons of money, and got to act and sing in the evening. After spending 15 years in what I now call Corporate America “Prison” working 60 – 80 hours a week in a cubicle, I was completely burnt out, and I did not feel like I was “living the dream” or was even the owner of my own life. I thought again, there must be a better way to live. I knew in my heart that there had to be a way to make money AND do what I love AND not be a slave to a job.

So, 5 years ago, I started my own Internet Business. I was able to leave Corporate America and (mostly) live a life of MY choosing. Now this may sound all dreamy and entrepreneurial…and it is…now. But I definitely went through more ramen noodle days than most people are willing to tolerate to get where I am today. People often ask how I did it, what it took, how they can get out of their J.O.B.s and focus more on the things they love? The answer is simple. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. It all came down to W.I.T. I was willing to do whatever it takes to live a life I love. Do I still have struggles? Absolutely!! Do I still have goals that seem far away and hard to achieve? YES!! Are there days that I want to give up. Uh-Huh. But at the end of the day…or the beginning in many cases, I direct my mind to what’s really important to me, and I ask myself if I’m willing to do whatever it takes to truly live a life I love. I’m happy to say, most days, the answer is yes. So I welcome you to ask yourself this: Are you willing to do whatever it takes to live the life you truly want? IF the answer is yes, then find a way to do that. Whether it’s starting your own business, finding a new/creative way to make money, spending time with new people, or even walking through this world differently; I welcome you to take on the challenge. There is a price to be paid for success, and that price must be paid up front, in full. That said, I heard this quote once, and believe it to be true: If you want something badly enough, the entire Universe conspires to help you get it. I’ll add to that…If you want something badly enough, and are willing to take action towards it, the entire Universe will conspire to help you get it.

Bridget Brady is passionate about helping others achieve their dreams and has taught hundreds of people how to make money utilizing the Internet. To learn more about Bridget and register for one of her free Making Money Online Tele-Seminars, go to MoreOnlineIncome.com.

 

9 Ways to Be Your Own Life Coach

Let’s face it. We all aren’t in a position to hire a life coach or business coach no matter how affordable it may be. And besides, you are capable of making some major progress on your own if you just knew how to, right?

Right. Most people can make significant strides in their own personal development by being their own life coach. It’s much like taking the easy path from the parking lot to the trail head and even up to the point where the real climbing begins. Until then, you can do it on your own. But once you start that ascent, you will likely need additional support. Read the rest of this entry »

The 3 Levels of Gratitude

There are 3 levels of gratitude where one individual could be. The further along an individual moves, the more likely it is they reach true happiness and success.  It’s almost cliche these days but gratitude can truly transform your life.

Gratitude allows you to focus on the positive, increases your immune system, improves your mental and physical state and makes you more attractive to those around you!

Most people get that concept. They want to believe in the power of gratitude but they still don’t quite put it into practice regularly.  Let’s see if we can figure out why. Read the rest of this entry »

7 Keys You NEED to Unlock a Better Life NOW

What would you think if I told you there are only 7 keys you need to do to have a better life? That if you master these 7 keys, your life will forever be changed for the better and you will find the happiness and success you most desire?

7 Keys You NEED to Unlock a Better Life NOW

It sounds too good to be true. It isn’t. When you master these 7 keys, anything else is possible for you. Each of these things will get you further and further towards a better you but the best way to get the most out of this is to do all 7  at the same time. The reason for this is because each task, by itself, is good; however, often times, one thing not master will effect the outcomes of the other things. Read the rest of this entry »

Dealing with the Non-Supportive Spouse Pt 5

As it is Wednesday, I am back at my series on dealing with non-supportive spouses. If this is your first visit, please consider starting from the beginning of the series.

“Why don’t I get to have any fun?” -  This may be the attitude your spouse is taking towards your entrepreneurial dreams. If you are smart, you have chosen a business around something that you very much like to do. For this reason, your spouse may be jealousy of the enjoyment you are getting out of your work. This can particularly be an issue if your spouse is sacrificing in a corporate job that they hate in order for you to reach your goals.

Often times, our spouses don’t see what we actually do on a day to day basis to grow our businesses. It reminds me of the current “what I really do” meme going around about how different people view different jobs.Click the picture for more examples.

Unfortunately, we tend to “protect” them from much of the “stuff” either out of a need to hide what hasn’t yet happened, a lack of drive that keeps us moving in the right direction or a sense of not wanting to bother them. Ultimately, this can backfire with them thinking you get to “play” all day and never have to do the hard work.

If you are a work-at-home entrepreneur, you can probably easily relate to the spouse that comes home after a long day wondering why the house is messy and dinner isn’t ready. After all, what could you possibly have had to do all day?

Action Step: First and foremost, sit down with your spouse to talk about your life together. Create a life plan. Where do you both want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 25 years? What are their dreams? How can you incorporate their dreams into your life plan? How does your dream work in with helping them to reach their dream? Maybe their dream is to travel and your business will allow that to happen. Help them to see that and have a clear time frame as to when that will begin to happen. Giving them some vision in the overall plan will garner a great deal of support for what you are doing.

Next, help them to understand what it is that goes into your business each and every day. Share with them not just the successes but also some of the more mundane tasks. Give them access to your calendar and make sure you are doing a great job of time blocking so they can clearly see how your time is divided. Educate them through the entire process, at least to the extent that they want to learn.

In summary, the very best thing you can do to garner support from a non-supportive spouse is to keep open the lines of communication. The more you talk to each other, the more likely you can help to alleviate any fear or tension before it starts.

When to Seek a Life Coach

Sometimes we need extra help.  Consider contacting us to set up a session in the following situations.

  • Often, we find it difficult to talk to those closest to us.  If you find this to be the case, consider a couples coaching session where an objective person can help to create better understanding for both individuals.

 

I’d love to hear about your challenges and/or solutions in managing your own non-supportive relationships in the comments below.

Dealing with the Non-Supportive Spouse Pt 4

We are in part 4 of our ongoing series on how to deal with non-supportive spouse or partners. To start at the beginning of this series, you can go here.

Your spouse may fear your success – For today’s tip, we are going to focus on a problem that can be a challenge during any major life change. It’s something you may have seen on reality TV shows when one partner has made a significant life change and the other partner becomes insecure that they will be left behind. Unfortunately, they often don’t realize the self-fulfilling prophecy this creates. Read the rest of this entry »

Who Moved My… Trashcan? – 7 Benefits of Change

Benefits of ChangeAbout two weeks ago, after having lived in my beautiful new home for more than a year, I realized my trashcan wasn’t really in the best spot in the kitchen. So I moved it from one corner of the island to the other, closer to where most of the prep work goes on. It was such a little change but has really made me think. Two weeks later, I’m just NOW getting to the point that I don’t walk the long way around the island to throw away my trash. I can walk two steps to do it.

Here’s a few truth’s about change:

  • Change is hard.
  • Sometimes it comes when we least want or can handle it.
  • It takes time to adjust to change.

It’s very true and most people, on the love to hate scale, fall somewhere in the range of mostly dislike to majorly despising change. A lot of people want to avoid change at all costs and become very agitated and stressed out even during the slightest change.

I find a lot of my coaching clients struggle with change mostly because they can’t see the benefit of change for them. Therefore, here’s a list:

7 Benefits of Change

  1. Pulls you out of your comfort zone. Without leaving your comfort zone, you’ll never have anything more than what you have right now.
  2. Delays mental decline. Researchers suggest that one great way to stave off mental decline is to regularly change your routine. Doing something that is different than what you are used to will cause your brain to have to process and think more, resulting in delayed loss of mental clarity.
  3. Opens you up to new opportunities. Even small changes, like driving a different way than your usual route, can expose you to new things that you hadn’t thought of or seen before.
  4. Encourages adoption of new habits. One of the hardest things you can do is to start or stop a habit. Change not only encourages but often requires that you adjust your habits. This practice can also help you with habits you WANT to control.
  5. Increases your skills. The more change you experience, the more comfortable you become with adapting to that change. You learn more quickly to adjust to the new status quo.
  6. Alters your perspective. Adapting to change often will encourage you to think about things in a different way on a regular basis. When you do this, you are suddenly able to see multiple persperspectives allowing you to become more understanding of others.
  7. Breaks up the monotony. Maybe you say you like doing the same things the same way over and over again. However, the best way to improve and grow is to experience new things. Changes is one of the best ways to do that.

 

How to Get the Most out of Change

Maybe you are sold on the idea, at least partially, that there might be some benefits of change. But you still have a strong dislike, maybe even fear, of it. What can you do to better embrace change when it happens?

  • Intentionally introduce change in your world. Just like I moved my trash can and that did enough to make me have to think, you too can introduce small change into your routine. Move things around. Take different routes when driving. Watch movies you might not normally choose.
  • Whenever you experience change, whether by choice or by requirement, actively look for at least one good thing about the change. That good thing may just be the idea that change is good for you, even if you don’t like or agree with the change.
  • Listen to others who are also undergoing that change to find out what they like about the change. Do this with an open mind rather than an intent to prove them wrong.

 

Change is something we all experience on a regular basis. You have a choice to either accept and get the most out of that change or throw your temper tantrum and resist it at all costs. Of course, there are times when change isn’t a good thing on moral or ethical grounds or based on what might be in the best interest for all. At those times, it is important for you to stand up for what you believe is right. Just don’t use these exceptions as an excuse to fight all kinds of change.

Here’s a few conversation questions. Pick one and share your response below.

What are your favorite ways to handle change?
What has been one of the most interesting changes you’ve experienced?
What change has had the biggest lasting impact upon you? Was it a change by choice or by requirement?

 

Why is Your Business?

This is a guest post by my dear friend Kevin Mogavero.

Today, most companies aren’t really competing on quality or price. The real differentiator is the REASON WHY the company exists.

I’ll take an example from two convenient-store/gas-station chains in Arizona: QuikTrip and Circle K.

The reason QuikTrip exists is to provide service that is quick, clean and professional way. If you live in Arizona and you have entered one, I am sure you have noticed the difference they provide. The goal of Circle K, on the other hand, is to be everywhere. Sometimes you even find two Circle K stores facing each other on opposite sides of a busy intersection! In both cases, their REASON WHY is clear. Read the rest of this entry »